Vulnerability

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

Someone I respect very much recently recommended this Ted Talk to me while making the following observation: "We can't selectively numb our feelings. If we numb negative emotions like anger, fear or pain, we will end up numbing our joy, our ability to love, and our passion."

Since I am someone who almost constantly struggles to express my emotions, I watched the talk.

Brene Brown is a brilliant anthropologist. Some of the observations she makes about human nature and American culture resonated deeply with me; they are things I have been recently noticing and learning in my own journey.

A few gems:

1. We can't selectively numb our emotions. We want to avoid negative emotions like shame, fear, anger or loneliness. But if we avoid those emotions, we will also prevent ourselves from feeling the positive emotions like joy, gratitude, love and happiness. You can't do just one thing.

Therefore, feel the negative emotions. Experience them. Stand back and observe yourself reacting to life. Don't judge, just observe.

2. People who feel more lovable, worthy and connected feel that way because they believe they are more lovable, worthy and connected.

Therefore, surround yourself with people and places who will remind you of your inherent worth. Take the risk of defining yourself as a beloved creation of God, instead of defining yourself by your ability to earn, attract, perform, or control.

3. Perfectionism will only end in neuroses, years of therapy, failure, and lack of intimacy.

Therefore, let go of the need to control and manage the messiness of life. Surrender.